20 Apr

waiting for the train in Station Bussum Zuid, NL

“We wait. We are bored. No, don’t protest, we are bored to death, there’s no denying it. Good. A diversion comes along and what do we do? We let it go to waste… In an instant all will vanish and we’ll be alone once more, in the midst of nothingness!” – Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

How many times have you been asked to wait? How long have you been waiting? Waiting for me is a skill to be learned, not everyone is born knowing how to wait. When a baby cries for milk, it doesn’t wait, it wails complainingly, no time to wait. But then we are socialized into taking turns, so we have to wait. Then we grow up learning how to wait in different degrees: waiting for your turn to play a toy, waiting in line, waiting for a friend to come at an appointed time, waiting for an answer, waiting for a job you like, waiting for a chance, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for things to get better. When we can’t do anything about it, we wait. There’s no other thing to do but wait.

Waiting is not one of my best qualities. In fact, one of my StrengthsFinder themes, Activator, reveals that I am rather impatient: “If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green.” Yes, I don’t wait for all lights to turn green. I make things happen.

But what if I can’t make things happen?

I surrender.

I pray.

And wait.

I have found the beauty in surrender. Some would think that to surrender is to give in, to give way, to abandon; but more than it being a sign of defeat, I think of surrendering as a way of turning over, relinquishing. And when I pray, I turn over all my concerns to my Father. I surrender everything to Him in prayer. Pia Magalona calls this her “pasa-Dyos list”. Most of the time we think that we can make things happen, and most of the time we feel disappointed when we can’t. The best thing I learned in my waiting is that there is beauty in accepting that there are just things that are beyond my power. I can’t do anything about them but just pray for them and wait. Another I learned is the longer the wait, the bigger the blessings. I have learned to trust how God operates in the supernatural to give me what I prayed for in super proportions. These things take time.

Our Pastor said God only has three answers to our prayers: No, Only? and wait. No, because He has something better; Only? is a yes, with much more, not only does He give you what you asked for but much much more and wait, a yes waiting to happen, in God’s time. But I am not good at waiting and so I have to learn how to wait. I have to learn that waiting is not just aimlessly staying put, pissing life away. To wait is more than just dallying it is to hold on, but more than just holding on, it’s to look forward, to expect, to anticipate, to be ready.

The next time you find yourself waiting, don’t wait. Anticipate. 🙂

“Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.” – Pres. Corazon Aquino


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